I Love Me Some Shosetsu

We received our book vouchers this week. Yeah, you read it right: this week! Anyway, I want to say thanks to our beloved IPG Gaya and Mdm. Shamaz for their hard work in sending us the vouchers straight from KK, Sabah. Haha~ How many of you got your vouchers from a place on the other side of the nation? Ngeheheh~

So, with less than two weeks until the deadline, I rushed to a place somewhere in PJ to buy some books. What did I buy with my vouchers? I love novels. I will be, very, very, very bored if I don’t have any novels to read. They are the opener to a world of creativity, magic, fantasy, and much much more, but enough with my thought about novels.

The novels that I bought are:

The Hunger Games Trilogy

The Fault in Our Stars

The Heroes of Olympus: The Son of Neptune

RM150 well spent. Oh yeah, that, and another RM30 that I added since Popular and other bookstores won’t give back the change if you use less than the stated amount of those vouchers. Still have one more piece by the way… Hope that I can go to Popular Kemaman and buy two more books there. Meheheh~ I love me some novels~!

Tempest

Tempest is another meaning for storm, albeit it is the one that is very strong, violent and gusty. I guess we human can be like that too. Real storms are created when a centre of low pressure develops, with a system of high pressure surrounding it [so copying Wikipedia], and I like to think that as the way storms form in human too. Imagine you in your lowest tolerance level, and people around you are so irritating that they give you too little time to stay calm.

And one of the many things that human have is impatience. Seriously, it’s hard to be patient when your heart is filled with anger towards someone or something. You have for so long cling on to that little feeling of patience and try to stay put, but then, you rupture, leaving nothing inside.

Yes, maybe it’s because you have had enough of some people. You have tried to talk to them, advised them, what else? Coping with their childlike acts? That’d drive anyone mad. Things can be messy after that. Vulgar words thrown here and there, nasty looks, those stares… wonder how long people will stay as enemies after that. Perhaps long enough that the chance to redeem the relationship is lost.

Night comes, and you won’t fall asleep that easy. Thoughts swirl in your mind as you think about the wrong things that other people have done to you. At the same time, you also think whether you’ve done the correct thing but letting yourself being pushed over to the limit. After a plunge, it takes a long time to climb back. After a storm, comes the calm. But will the surrounding be like what it used to be?

My Emotion Now Is Between Guilt And Fun...

One Thing I Should Remember:

Tepee

This is us [well, duh~] during our Kesatria Negara course in UiTM's Main Campus. It was Friday and the day's Recreation component topic was on how to build a shelter in case we are lost in the woods [palis-palis bah]. Thought we would just learn by listening to our coach, instead he told us to crack our heads and build one according to the specifications given. Of course, originality, safety, and creativity were important in making our nice, cozy, warm one-night shelter. Hey, it's not a five-star hotel room... haha~

By the way, the name's Tepee Hijau Selamat a.k.a. Safe Green Tepee.

1

Like a ballerina, she dances towards him. Her face is barren without a smile, without happiness, without signs of love. Instead, it is filled with blood, all dried up, and scars. The vision of her stutters him, for he cannot remember the last time he saw her. But he even knows she did not look like this during that moment. Fear starts to build in his inside, and his eyes begin to form pools of water.

“For heaven’s sake,” he begins, “please don’t make me suffer…”

But the woman still moves, faster and faster, with eyes fixed ahead, but he... he cannot move, for it feels as if a wall is blocking his feet, and another one is crushing him, turning his breathing heavier. “Stop it!” he says. And she does not stop, instead she moves serenely to his back and disappears. The ghost of her now lost in sight, and the man is lying on the street, not in death, but in guilt.

I Commit to Thee

Say the word ‘commitment’ and you instantaneously think about a married couple with a prenup struggling through their life because of infidelity, but let’s forget that baseless scenario. What I really want to say here is the commitment towards something important, the thing that you should look forward to when you wake up from your sleep day by day. Yes, there are lots of them… but for me, at least now; one of my commitments is to study well.

You know, people tend to forget that a job is a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled with care and dignity. If you don’t work properly, then the wage that you receive will not be blessed. It’s the same with studying. For me, I’m in a contract with the government, and they pay for my education until I graduate. So, of course, my responsibility is to go to class and be a good student, and then be a good teacher.

That is not a hard thing to do, well, yeah, studying is hard, so you need to focus on that… the thing is when we forget the vital thing… we are not giving enough attention towards the things we’re supposed to do, instead we spend too much time on other matters related to our own needs.

It’s wrong, and if you do that one time too many, you might land himself in a hot soup, unable to find any way out from the calamity. Hey, you are the one develop your own problem. Just because a lot of people are doing the thing, that doesn’t mean that it’s right for you to do the same.

Maelstrom

No one wants to be confused. No one wants to be on the rocks about the things they keep in their heart. There are too many times when people are just not sure about their feeling. Are they truly in love with someone, or is it just a petty desire of wanting to be in love.

When… let’s say a guy… sees other couples, walking, playing, joking happily around, it’s hard for him not to think about the same matter. Yes, on the outside, he may seem strong, feeling like, ‘hey, I’m happy being single’ or whatever. But you know when you reach a certain age, there’ll come that time when you want to share your heart with someone else, and this guy thinks it must be his time. He wants someone to be with him, to share his happiness, sadness, everything. He wants this girl, and he wants her to be more than just a friend.

Alas, he doesn’t have the courage to say the thing he should have said. Maybe he is confused. There’s a storm brewing inside. Maybe, the thing must bethat small affection towards this one girl… but what if it is not small? What if he is actually denying the truth that he really is head over heel for her?

Probably, he rather be a good friend, rather than to lose her when she knows the truth.

Chasm

Tumble

Tumble

And

Tumble

To the deep chasm

Underneath the earth

I cannot see the Milky Way

And radiance

Of every colour’s

Gone

And heaven

Just close its

Doors

This

Is

The end

What a sight

The Night’s

Fire’s so bright

If December Falls Apart

~·~

Her heart is whole
but it longs for another half
but the love isn’t won
the life is to be alone

If December falls apart
he won’t be here
for his adoration’s just
the fragile strands
of a cobweb

Young promises made
in twilight, lovers don’t
survive the dawn
or the next day’s air

~·~

Mirror

We don’t like to have people to judge us, yet isn’t that the same thing that we do every day? Giving labels to people according to our own thoughts just because of his outward attributes, or because of his attitude at that time, or because of what other people said of him, or because of his background. Sometimes, he even gets it because we’re such envious monsters. Turn the pointer around: the same thing may happen to us.

We can never stop people from putting some invisible tags above our heads, and I believe even though people said that they don’t care about what others think of them, there must be at least some traces of depression that resides deep inside the heart. Hey, who wouldn’t feel sad if people start to think bad about them?

Maybe on one side, we just can’t accept what the rest of the society thinks of us. What they thought about us is a thing that we believe we are not. So now, what will the other person feels if we give him the same treatment? The cycle continues on and on. Humans are not perfect.

And life’s never been fair to everyone. People tend to hear only one side of the story and bury the other, even if it’s the truth, into the ground. People remember one error that we’ve made, and forget 1,000,000 successes that we have. People like the negatives stuff. They’ll give people something to talk about.

Yet, everyone’s the victim of personal thoughts.

WTF Did You Say?!

So, this happened:

Setting: Majlis Amanat Dekan, INTEC Grand Hall

The conversation [this may not be accurate…]

The Dean: Jadi kita akan [so not paying attention here] perkampungan Orang Asli di Hulu Langat sebagai kampung angkat Fakulti Pendidikan.

Person A: Kenapa Hulu Langat? Kenapa tak KL ke… [and few more places… hey, since when KL has an Orang Asli settlement for heaven’s sake?!].

Person B: Kenapa tak jauh lagi… Sabah ke?

That basically shocked my friends and I. I mean, Sabah? Did you guys go through the subject known as Local Studies and Geography when you were in schools? Did you guys know that Orang Asli is a different ethnic group altogether? Did you know that there’s no Orang Asli in Sabah?

Practically and obviously, my Sabahan [and Sarawakian] friends were [or are still…] pretty angry with these people for their mindless talk. I don’t even think they actually realise that Sabah has lots and lots of ethnics, and that Sabah is a pretty developed state. By the way, Sabahans are not Orang Asli, instead, they are Sabahan Natives.

I am not sure if people still ask whether Sabahans or Sarawakians live on tree... Guess what peeps? They don’t! So, maybe I should say something: both regions of Malaysia are not fully integrated with one another. Education needs to do something on this…

[Yeah, I’m not a Sabahan… but when you lived there for 2½ years, there’d be that Sabahan spirit growing inside… heheh]