A Bottle

If I could bottle
my thoughts
the ones
stripping down
to the core
the ones
in my Pandora’s Box
those that I fear
those that I adore
thoughts conceived
during the strangest
of mornings
the loveliest
of nights
would they shine like
a millions stars
engulfing life
in lights that span
a universe’s length
or would they dim
what little shine
I strive to keep

Over

Forgiving is one thing, forgetting it is another.

We know that the only way to achieve total peace is to just leave the matter that disrupts us behind and never to talk about it again, but sometimes, that thing is actually a predicament that we can’t let go. Why? If there’s one reason, it’s because that thing has fucked us a lot that we cannot bear to let it go lest we would forget the terrible event and make it happen again. We want to make amends with everyone else but the incident keeps on replaying, and we’re left thinking, “should I let my guard down?” Should we?

Sometimes, there are small problems that are caused by our own faults. I know that we are born with innate ability to defence ourselves, but there are moments when we need to just acknowledge the issues arising, I mean things can occur due to our misguided minds, but such small matters can be forgotten all so quickly, unless the people involved in the arguments create a big deal out of them and constantly remind us of those stuff. It’s the big matter that stoops us. We can’t even see the end properly sometimes and continue to just be wary of our surrounding, bracing ourselves for signs that may tell us whether it will struck us again, maybe even harder this time.

It’s hard to live that way. It’s hard not believing other people.

Bazinga!

Hylô a sut wyt ti'n gwnead?

I went to Seremban, the capital city of Negeri Sembilan for the first time to meet my lecturer from Institut Pendidikan Guru Kampus Gaya (Institute of Teacher Education Gaya Kampus), the beloved Mdm. Sharifah Mazni. We brought along Rachel and Ilanggo. I really miss both of them, so it was really awesome to be with them even for just two days.

We were in the same class during the foundation in IPGaya, but because my class is twinned with Universiti Teknologi MARA (MARA University of Technology) for the TESL Degree Programme, they couldn't make it because of that one reason. At least, they can still do it in Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (The National University of Malaysia). Bangi and Shah Alam are not that far... well, it will take three hours if we travel with KTM Komuter. Haha~

Speaking about KTM Komuter, we did travel to Seremban riding one... oh wait, two actually, a 45-minute ride from Shah Alam to KL Sentral, and then another 75-minute from KL Sentral to Seremban. I like riding trains, so that was not really a problem. Haha~ The funny thing is, all of us ran frantically twice that day just to catch the trains, one heading to Seremban, and another one heading back to KL Sentral from Seremban. Guess what, that Malay idiom, 'a banana tree doesn't bear fruit twice' (I'm so not sure if this is a good translation) apparently was not heeded by all of us, and because I don't really exercise, it got the better of me... it was such a fatiguing incident. Bwahaha~

Anyway, besides getting to eat delicious dishes that Madam Shamaz cooked, we also discussed about some serious matters, one of them about our schools for Practicum. All of us will go back to Sabah next year, and we are obligated to be practicum teachers (teachers-in-practice?) for three months. Hamy, my friend, and I, hopefully, will be teaching at SMK Taman Tun Fuad. Four months away and I am already feeling the pressure, but I know I can do it.

Ok, so that's all for tonight.

Diolch i chi!

Unfinished

The boy watched a film
and saw the girl
and the boy in it
holding hands
he knew it was
only an act but
he wondered
always if that could
be emulated
into his own reality
maybe holding the
hand of the girl
he loved
perhaps under a
pinkish flowery tree
perhaps when it was
raining heavily
perhaps with the sea waves
as the soundtrack
but he knew
the world was
a stage he dared
not to direct
and the girl
he loved was
left out from the script
the boy only wanted
their hands
to be in unison
but the feelings
he had
only left a heart
beating asunder
the end

Blargh!

Since this blog lacks me selfie. Haha~ [Sorry]

In one way, I can’t wait to go back to Shah Alam, but I know, I’ll miss Terengganu [and the holiday… haha~]

Here’s hoping that Part 6 will be awesomesauce!

[Music alert: Coldplay’s Atlas is really great!!!]

The Sides

Isn’t it weird that on so many times, we find ourselves encouraging other people that they are okay, they are pretty, their life is good, things will be alright, and other positive things, but when it comes to ourselves, we don’t feel that way… we think that in so many aspects, we are imperfect.

Frankly speaking, no one is perfect, but no one is that defected either. It’s just that we are surrounded by a community that expects everything to be beautiful, and great, and ideal, that we are forced to think that if we don’t achieve the expectations, we are not good enough.

Besides, we, most of the times, look so highly upon other people that we forget that everyone comes with flaws and strengths. We don’t think that our strengths are something to be proud of. We tend to look on the other side of the fence, seeing that what everyone else can do and has are much better.

Of course, to say that you’re the best in what you do is somewhat cocky… but I don’t think it’s wrong to make yourselves believe that what you have and who you are generally are the reasons for you to be happy. You can use other people as a standard to gauge your achievements and aspire to be as successful as they are, but never overdo your judgment. It’s not a good thing to start planting the conviction that you’re not good, or beautiful, or not what others want to have.

[Nameless]

I said “leave!”
it wouldn’t leave
I said “go!”
it wouldn’t go
and it has stayed
ever since
it has made
a home out
of my core
it has created
a million wounds
no, sir, not on the
exterior (they will fade and
the pain is momentary)
the wounds are
inflicted on the surface
of my pulsating heart
corporeal, tangible
if only each beat could
erase one scar
I want to ask it
“Why are you
telling me to
miss someone
who is never mine
to begin with?”
I wonder if it
would say
“Do you want
me to be all bottled
up?”
I wonder
whether having it
is better than to have none

I Am Now A SIXER!!!

Ahhh, the joy of being a Sixer [well, almost]… I spent like 10 times trying to get the timetables correct for both Group A and B… the heck with that? Now, stop the negativity, let’s start with love.

Part 6 a.k.a. Semester 6 will begin real soon, and I say, I am so pumped for it, okay, pumped and scared too because of the certain courses and certain lecturers [tell me who doesn’t?], but yeah, being a Sixer is a new adventure.

In fact, it’s the last semester for me here in Shah Alam. Next year, I’ll be flying back to IPGaya, KK, Sabah. I guess I am going to miss this place, but hey, I have five months left here, so, I better enjoy it [enjoy and study, I know!]

Anyway, here are the courses that I take for P6:

Methodology of Teaching Writing

The final Methodology course, and this time it deals with writing, how writing works, and how should we teach English writing to the students. Microteaching is inevitable. Haha~

Second Language Acquisition

As you all know, English is the second language of this country population, so we need to learn how humans acquire the knowledge and function with a second language.

Asian Literature

I don’t read a lot of Asian novels or such, so I guess this will be good to increase my understanding of the things that differentiate Asian literature from the rest. It’ll be good for my reading too, perhaps, I’ll pick up a lot of Asian novels after this.

Introduction to Shakespeare

Hi, it’s really nice to meet you again Shakespeare. Well, you get the idea, Shakey’s dramas and poems… and we’ll be staging a theatre too. Hooo~

Basic Data Analysis

As far as I know, it involves counting, one of my weaknesses… and it involves computers. What gives?

Classroom Management + Co-curriculum Management

I guess these two teach us on how to manage students in class and outside the class?

So, cheers to me for being a SIXER!!!