tug of war

we march past by
only silence trickling from our mouths
we got our armours up, soldiers ready
to tear the worlds apart
but every time i see your face
it's a tug of war of trying
to push you away when

all i want is pulling you next to me

and every day you're away from me
i feel like a fool
maybe it's my fault to shove
you far out of the blue
trying to shut my mouth
cause maybe that's the best to do
but slowly days go by and
i'm still thinking about you

and we are both wrong
in this tug of war trying to feel right
a battle to stay apart
hearts sidelined by makeshift weapons
egos are the shields
silences are the swords
it's a fight i'm ready to leave behind
and all i want is you to do the same

and every day you're away from me
i feel like a fool
maybe it's your fault to shove
me far into the blue
trying to shut my mouth
and maybe that's the worst to do
but slowly days go by and
i'm still trying to forget you

this peace might be a little too late
but could we try to mend what we have
i'm ready to let my guard down
but if you think your battle's won
i'll be the first to leave
even if it aches me forevermore

and every day you're away from me
i feel like a fool
maybe it's our fault to shove
both our lives far into the blue
trying to shut our mouths
could we open them up, could we try

slowly the days go by
are you thinking of the same too?

a blue night

a night like this
cold, hushed, hued blue by the
moon in an arc,
fenced by constellations.

and i, lost in time, 
lost in thoughts,
a truth, one so close
i choose to
distance myself.

hurt in all its forms
pain in all its glory
sadness but no tears nor cries
only a word of silence
slicing like a rusty knife
savaging the deepest
darkest abyss of an icy heart.

memories not made to last
blown away like pieces
of paper written with empty
hopes, useless happiness,
carried into the shadows.

and i am lost in time, 
lost in thoughts,

lost in a blue night
like this
lips frozen shut
a fool's behaviour
a blue night turning into

a blue day tomorrow
tick tock goes the clock.

Did You See The Light?

Did you see the light?
Did you see how beautiful
when it lasted?
An ethereal puncture in the
darkness, a guide that kept pulling
us like moths to lamps and I thought
it'd be reached, but you went
ahead, and the steps I took
were never enough. The tunnel
was long, time dripped as
slowly as droplets from the ceiling
wetting me more more and more
weighing me down
heavier, heavier, and heavier
until I was soaked, cemented
so hard by gravity
my feet were stalled
you couldn't see me
turning into a statue starving for air
the light faded into a pinhole
the tunnel, a dragging, treacherous
hell of blindness
and you, ran towards the end still
body smaller and smaller
I couldn't even say goodbyes
goodbyes I didn't even want to say
I was but a statue
untouched by travellers
unseen by trespassers
forgotten by the one who
left me behind.
Did you see the light?
Did you find it beautiful?