Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Doubt

It’s not good to dwell on something bad for a long time, but that is the one act that I tend to do after I do bad on something, anything. I know it’s wrong of me to think that I could be perfect in everything, but then when a thing fails, my confidence does the same too.

That is when I start to think of it a lot, focusing on what and where I do wrong. My mind is petrified by that single failure. But the irony is I realised how many times I have been doing the same thing: pondering on the same letdown but never to improve it.


I am afraid. I am afraid if I make mistakes, then people will see me as nothing. Yeah, nothing will be the way to put it. Criticism is the thing that put me on guard all the time. I don’t know why it’s hard to trust myself… that I have the skills intact… that I have the ability to do even better.


I don’t know why I want to pursue for a perfectness that doesn’t even exist, for no one can be, or shall be perfect. The salve for this is just to think of my mistakes as the things that will lead me to a better path, but somehow, I think of them as the big holes that are scattered on the road. Doubting myself for just a small matter, and then I forget how much more I can actually be.

2 hecks:

clare richard said...

you know what makes you one step ahead of those who have made mistakes? you are aware of it. you doubt. and that's good. i've been through a stage where i doubt myself so much i just want to let go of everything. but a quote saves me. it says 'the one who never doubt will never truly believe.' in this case, doubting, will lead you to the better path. it is when you don't doubt, and don't criticise, that you should be worrying about. and don't criticise too much when you do. it is not about perfection. it's about getting better than yesterday. if it means stepping back and doubting, then by all means, doubt :)

Afiq said...

I think I criticise nyself too much. Haha. Thanks for the advice ^^