Every night I don’t dream of you

Every night I don’t dream of you I don’t dream of you I don’t dream of the way you make me want to caress your hair slowly and definitely just like how a fish glides effortlessly through the fast river I don’t dream of the way your skin feels so soft and smooth and how I want my fingers to touch your skin I want to touch it like how the waves lap on the shore and moves back into the sea I don’t dream of your smell the smell of your fresh clean shirt the smell of your hair after shower the smell of you during early mornings I don’t dream of how I fall into the abyss of anger of hatred of madness because I can never be yours you can never be mine I can never be yours and all of these are lies because I dream I am dreaming I always dream I dream of your eyes how they shine in the light I dream of your voice the combinations of sounds you make with your tongue and lips I dream of your left hand how they would look so right holding mine I dream of you the entirety of you the whole soul of you you with me with me anywhere looking at one another telling stories that make us awake at night you with me chasing our dreams together you with me arguing and mending ourselves again you with me I am with you or I am not with you I dream of you when I don’t want to because I am angry I am mad I hate myself every night why can’t I stop If I can’t love you why can’t I hate you I want to hate but you pull me closer and closer unknowingly let me hate you let me hate but my heart wants to love wants to love wants to forget wants you wants everything that you are made of wants every molecule of you wants you to light up my dark wants you to be the water when I am in fire wants everything that you are made of and I still hate that I love you still I dream of you still.