Kon Kon Kon

Me and my Kon hat... heheh~
That is all...

May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favour.

The Hunger Games is based on the first novel of the best-selling Trilogy by Suzanna Collins known as… The Hunger Games. The truth is I’ve never read the novel, but boy I must say: NO OTHERS MOVIES HAVE EVER MOVED ME LIKE THIS BEFORE.

You can’t just ignore the power of The Hunger Games. I was so pumped up while watching the film. I couldn’t stay still, my heart was beating like 100x faster than normal, my emotion was like a boat getting all topsy-turvy in the sea. I was on the verge of crying lots of times. Nuff’ said:

THIS. IS. A. KICKASS. MOVIE.

I really love the characters of the movie. Jennifer Lawrence is the perfect Katniss Everdeen: her portrayal of Katniss is nothing but the best. She was on fire throughout the movie. She defines the new meaning of being a hero, and what’s more, she’s hot without having to be HOT. She was the flame that burns brightly throughout the movie - her emotions were right on, her fight for survival got my adrenaline high. Josh Hutcherson, meanwhile, plays Peeta Mellark, Katniss’ love interest, and I couldn’t help but to adore him. Josh is an amazing actor. His character might not be as strong or as willing as Katniss [he was the one who was needed to be saved by Katniss], but his softness and naivety balanced the toughness and roughness of Katniss. The portrayals of other characters like Cato, Clove, Rue, and Primrose were also great.
The movie uses shaky camera as its filming technique, which for me adds depth into the plot and made the movie even more interesting. Its cinematography was beautiful. The score was quite okay – I like some of them especially the one played when Katniss was trying to search for Peeta. The movie had some moments of humour, but when the action began, it was all non-stop, badass pumping stuffs. I guess the killing part might not be suitable for young children, but hey, what’s an action movie without any action? But don’t just count on the action scenes to get you moving on your seat. Even the emotional parts were awesome – heart-breaking, tear-jerking.

The Hunger Games
May the odds be ever in your favour

Doubt

It’s not good to dwell on something bad for a long time, but that is the one act that I tend to do after I do bad on something, anything. I know it’s wrong of me to think that I could be perfect in everything, but then when a thing fails, my confidence does the same too.

That is when I start to think of it a lot, focusing on what and where I do wrong. My mind is petrified by that single failure. But the irony is I realised how many times I have been doing the same thing: pondering on the same letdown but never to improve it.

I am afraid. I am afraid if I make mistakes, then people will see me as nothing. Yeah, nothing will be the way to put it. Criticism is the thing that put me on guard all the time. I don’t know why it’s hard to trust myself… that I have the skills intact… that I have the ability to do even better.

I don’t know why I want to pursue for a perfectness that doesn’t even exist, for no one can be, or shall be perfect. The salve for this is just to think of my mistakes as the things that will lead me to a better path, but somehow, I think of them as the big holes that are scattered on the road. Doubting myself for just a small matter, and then I forget how much more I can actually be.

Abhorrent

I have something that I've kept in my mind for so long [not that long actually…]: why do you have to hate someone? It’s like we’re hardwired to hate at least a single person for a length of a time. I heard a lot about people saying that “I hate this girl/guy. She/he is such a [put vulgar cursing word here]”.

I’m not saying that I have never hated any people. I used to hate those guys who bullied me, but it was all in the past, but again I must say, forgiving is not the same as forgetting. That issue aside, sometimes you may feel like you’re hated by someone else, but you just don’t know the reason behind it. Or maybe, something happens and it involves another person, and then you start thinking that the person hates you for it [kind of my story, but aaa-ny-way…].

It’s hard to live in peace when you see all those Facebook statuses or tweets about how A loathes B, and how B abhors A, and bla bla bla. For some, it is their chance to witness a real life drama, but then again, can’t we live in peace? No, they don’t want to do that. They just like to continue on with their fight until then end.

And Tumblr have all this sarcastic stuffs going on, one in particular made me think. The caption is somewhere along the line of ‘I hate living on this planet with you. Breathing the same air that you breathe disgusts me’. Pretty simple, right? You hate that person, and you also hate the fact that you’re living in the same place with whoever that person is.

The thing is, if you’re disgusted with that person, why don’t you confront him/her? Yes, words are easier said than done, but in many cases, things just got way out of control when no talks were done by the parties involved. And here’s one more thing: why do you need to hate the planet just because of one person? The proper way then is for you to vanish yourself. Poof, just like that.

Hardwired? What gives?

'R'

The thing is, let’s face it: our world is not a perfect fairy-tale like place. It’s full of crap, it’s full of bad things, it’s full of nonsense people, it’s full of problems.

It’s full of nothingness.

Sometimes, a week passes by and you feel like it is a year of misery and it is still going on. You wish for it to stop, but it doesn’t. It never will. You can’t find a way out. Your feet are stuck in hard cement, and you can’t even scream, your voice is jailed.

Problems come like a total deluge, drenching you until you can’t breathe. One matter can mean a whole universe to you, and like a universe, the end of it is too far to be reached. You are left alone waiting and waiting. You don’t know how to reason. It’s a bitter situation you’re in.

No one understands you. No one knows your real feeling. No one can comfort you. You are going through all truckloads of damning stuff and the only thing that you know is to embed your skull deep into the wall.

Misery’s over… perhaps your life too. Perhaps the world is not to blame.

Coffin Boy

The coffin boy suffocates
in cataclysmic existence
unloved, unwanted
buried so deep

Lost his light
doesn’t know his might
the gravity’s keeping him down
stuck all alone in this town

The coffin boy hesitates
to go beyond the walls
to switch on his sight
to believe his luck

But he wishes to stop
dragging the bones
of ghosts in the past
He wants to open the lid

Let the fire kills the dark
he wants the air to breathe
he wants to see the sun outside
a liberty of his own

10 SESMA-ly Days

Konnichiwa! O-genki desu ka? Hahaha~ I’m experiencing some changes inside, and by changes, I mean I’m getting Japanised each day. Muahaha. People must think that I am forgetting my own root after I have begun to enrol in BJP401 with my sensei [get that? せんせい!]. Anyway, this is not a post about me and my so-called Japanication. This is an appreciation post about my ten days working... err... observing the teachers and stuff in SESMA.

My ten days at Sekolah Sains Sultan Mahmud a.k.a. SESMA has been a wonderful experience for me. This Field Experience taught me a lot about functioning as a teacher in the school. Well, that, and other things…

ROS and the observations

Two important things that we were supposed to do for our Field Experience were School Orientation Programme [ROS] and Class Observations. For the class observation, I was needed to observe on how my mentor taught her class. There were four sessions and amazingly, all of them involved form ones’ classes. I gained lots of useful things for me to do in my own classes… you know, during the future of course.

Work, work, work…

SESMA’s teachers were busy... like really, really busy. They worked all the time. I guess that is obvious as SESMA is stipulated to excel academically. Their hard work paid off since SESMA always comes on top in the state of Terengganu.

As for the students, lots, and I mean, lots of homework were given to them, at least that was what the senior assistant told me. The students rarely had time to have leisure, and some couldn’t handle the stress of doing too many things, so they just quitted.

The students are bigger than me

Yes, being a new teacher… okay... a trainee teacher, SESMA was pretty intimidating at first. Some of that intimidation came from the reason that the students were bigger than me, physically. Yeah, they respected me and called me ‘Sir’ [I felt like a matured lad, bahhh]. I was asked to have some ‘relief classes’ with forms four and five.

The Form five students had just finished their TOV Exam a few days earlier. I tried to be a good to them and asked them whether they had any questions that lingered in their noggins… but apparently they didn’t have any, or they actually didn’t know what to ask. Apparently, I myself was not prepared to teach them something. For form four, I had to teach two classes [in the same time!] the poem ‘In the Midst of Hardship’. The boys were noisy little… err… guys. What d’ya expect? Boys will be boys. The girls were fine, and they tried to learn something about the poem at the very least. Haha~ but things went well.

Game time!!!

I, with the help of my friend from IPG KB, was given the honour to inaugurate Form One’s English Camp. It was actually a one-hour session to improve the students’ English. The objective of the camp was actually to teach them grammar, but we took a different path and decided to give the students a time to have fun with the language. They had enough with grammar during their normal classes, right?

We played The Hot Seat, and yeah, it was fun seeing the boys and girls trying to describe the things to their leaders. Learning should be entertaining, don’t you think so?

Still a long way to go

I was attracted the morning’s speech by a SESMA student during the assembly. She told the truth, at least to those who listened of course – assembly IS always filled with chit-chats and gossips. Bacl to the main point: what’s the truth? Terengganuese students still have a long way to go in making English as a part of their daily life.

From writing to speaking, accuracy and fluency, Terengganuese are left behind other states. Students, even SPM students, are unable to write proper sentences, all kinds of mistakes occur; too many problems flagged their understanding. Accent riddles their conversation. Their fluency is thwarted since they rarely use the language to communicate with their friends.

Gambatte Kudasai, Fikku-sensei! [Heheh~!]

The road to become a teacher is riddled with obstacles and chances. I know my weaknesses and my strong points. SESMA is just the beginning. I still have three years to go~

Le Monday Bleu

Every Monday at INTEC... we still need to wear formal clothes. Heck yeah~

[By the way, I am so happy that we are studying here, instead of the Main Campus in Section 2... It is like 100 times larger than Gaya, and 10 times hill-ier... Blerghhh~]

From There to Here

Hi there!

After what seems to be a long time, finally I am able to post something to this little blog of mine. I am not in Kansas... err... Sabah... anymore. 2 ½ years there have been exciting and to be frank, I do miss the life in IPG Gaya and KK. I miss my friends there, the lecturers there, everything... *sigh*

Still, changes will always occur in our lives. For mine, that BIG change is that I’m now studying in UiTM INTEC Campus, Section 17, Shah Alam. There are lots and lots of differences between here and there, but I’m ready to face the challenges. So far, life in INTEC and Kolej Cemara are quite fine. Many classes and lecturers are awesome, especially the Japanese Language course! Heheh~!

Anyway, just to share with you, I got a good result for my Part 2’s final examination...

3.69

A’s, A-‘s, and B+’s... This is the second time I am in the Dean’s List. I hope I can do even better this year! Gambatte! Booyeah~!!!