Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Museum Freak

I have an affinity with… Museums!

I love to visit museums because they showcase the achievement of humanity and the histories of our civilisation, in addition to the exhibits on our natural world. In fact, I had made a promise to myself – once I’m in KL, I’ll make sure that I’ll pay a visit to the many museums there. KL has lots of them, like Forest Museum, the National Museum, Textile Museum, Telecommunication Museum, Numismatic Museum, and Islamic Arts Museum, to name just a few. Even museums themselves are masterpieces – some buildings that house the museum are old colonial architecture worth to be admired.

I don’t know why people said that museums are boring… Come on, if you’re not history buff, then of course museums are boring. Haha… [which means to say that those who said it are not history buffs…]

Of course here in Sabah, there’s Sabah Museum. To tell you the truth, it is *this* close to IPG Gaya, but I think I’ll make a bet that 90% of students here never go there. Haha. So, I went there and unfortunately… many sections are closed for renovations. Well, what to do?

[P.S.: you don’t have to pay if you bring your students card there!]

The entrance
European ceramic-wares
The skeleton of a Bryde's Whale
Ceramic... err... pillows. Were they unaware of the existence of cotton?
[the flags shown there are the 'Five Races under One Union' flag and the 'Wuchang Uprising' flag]
Blue ceramic
The findings under Kudat's Simpang Mengayau sea
Traditional handicrafts
Music assembles
Rungus' costume
Qing Dynasty's ceramic-wares
Beautiful painting
I can't remember the name... Huhu

Sunday, 24 April 2011

To Go English

(Aussie, Kiwi, and Brit flags at Kundasang War Memorial)

I have come to a realisation [not really… it came to me years ago] that I talk too much… in Malay that is. Well, before another episode of ‘I look stupid when I talk in Malay’ happens, let me say that what I mean here is that as a TESLian, I converse a lot using my native language.

Of course I had set my goal that I would speak using English anytime soon, but it seems that it is not going anywhere. Some conditions kind of stopping me from doing it.

The reasons: I’m not convinced with myself. Yes, I like to write in English, but conversing with others using it is a whole different matter. I am afraid that my grammar would be tumbling all around [or tunggang-langgang… haha]. You know how I performed during TESL Night... wakaka. Honestly, of course people say ‘try first. Grammar will come sooner or later.’

The second cause, embarrassment. If people around you speak in Malay, will you speak in English? Suddenly the others turn to you with those weird faces if you have the guts to Britishspeak them… or it could be me who feels that. I’m so not blaming others here because one of the culprits is me too. When are we going to do this?

Maybe I should just go with the flow.

It’s just English, not some sort of carnivorous monsters [monsters are supposed to be carnivorous, isn’t them?] I’m facing with. People know I’m not a native speaker, need to build self-confidence and be comfy with it first, and then the language will be proper, I think.

Besides, one thing that I can be sure about, talking in English doesn’t make you forget who you are. It’s not like one day, I’m talking in Terengganuese Malay [actually I don’t know how to speak Terengganuese dialect … I’m not a good example for Terengganuese out there] one day and Cockney-accented English later forever.

*It’s bloody rubbish ain’t it?*


I'm confused like Brittany too...

With exam looming, one should be expected to open his books, and revise the things he has learnt over and over again [8 times, my teacher said]. Not me, I daresay. Not because I am a know-all-exam-do-not-bother-me kind of person, but because of one word: laziness [this word contains two morphemes, lazy, and –ness. See? Linguistics can be fun!].

Heck yeah… blogging is sometimes much funner [no such word] and better that reading the whole books of Psychology, Philosophy, Guidance and Counselling, and TITAS. Again, how can I achieve my target of at least higher than 3.4 if I am acting like this?



















Yes… Life doesn’t give us answers all the time.

Anyway… things that I want to do after the exam:

Doing photomanipulations… My deviantArt needs to be filled with lots of them!

Tenom [pronounced as [tenɔm], not [tənɔm]. If there is any luck, I would love to go there by Sabah Railway!

Now, let’s come back to the other question [since when we have the other question?], why people [read: ME and you too… muahaha] can be so lazy to do things they are supposed to do, and be so energetic when they are doing stuff that they want to do?

I need extrinsic motivators!

Kissing the Wind Goodbye

(gambar hiasan semata-mata)

Forget and forgive. Let loose and say goodbye to the bad things.

Should or should not? Especially for a person who spent elementary years being bullied by the others, mostly by a couple of guys, which humorously, seemed to be the real counterpart of Giant and Suneo. Go figure.

Elementary years are far, far away now, but their effects still linger. If you had low sense of worth then, most probably you will still have it now, even if parts of it are long gone. How will you feel if you are mock for being somewhat different from a majority of persons around you?

Forgiving, that can be done, but forgetting? Somewhat fuzzy.

Floating World

I can’t stay away from the floating world. It is a part of me, and will always be around me. Can I anchor myself to the ground?

Maybe it’s time for me to redeem myself, for things that I can do. I've been too far, but this life has been good for a person like me. Is it too late? Maybe circumstances are the things that cause this sudden salvation.

Another same moment, and yet, this resolution is never achieved. A long period of weakness overpowers a person. There are too many talks and no actions, even simple ones that can change the course of life.

Is acceptance can be found in the end?

Or the similar ending like before?

Friday, 22 April 2011

Forgotten Pea

Another moment to just ponder at myself: can I be better in loving my family?

Have you ever think that it is such a nuisance if your parents call you all the time? Say, once a day? Yes… I thought of that sometimes… I was like ‘Mom, I’m fine here… No need to call me like every 24 hours… Ok?”

Then something struck me… I am adopted, and does being adopted means that I have a better position than, say the grandchildren of my parents? Well, according to my brothers, it’s a yes.

Being adopted just doesn’t give you the permission to be disloyal towards one’s parents. I am grateful that I was adopted. Even if my parents are both 70-years-old and pensioners, I have a better life when compared with my other 10 siblings. I am lucky that I know my real parents because my adopted parents want to. One younger sister of mine who is under the care of other people is not that lucky.

See, 70-years-old is an age when you just need you children’s love. I realise that. My brothers are married, and of course, the birds need to leave the nest. I was left alone with them. They love and care for me like I was of their own blood. Later, I was the next to go by continuing my education. Parents were left on their own. We now meet only twice a year – a mere three months. That’s pretty short.

While, I admit some kind of freedom was achieve, but I still feel different. No sights of mom and dad who love us, who take care of us, who cook for us [don’t tell me your mom, or dad, never feed you with their hands… and being 20-years-old is not the sign that we should stop it… Muahaha]. I only listen to their voice through the phone. The same questions all the time, but one day without that call, it starts to get weird.

So, to children out there, always treat your parents fairly, even if you’re adopted or if you’re of their blood. A forgotten pea just doesn’t grow well.

Femme Fatale by Britney Spears

Brit’s back!

[Old news… err…]

Her new album, Femme Fatale, is capital A to the Awesome, well at least for me. Frankly, this is her first album that I have ever bought. Luckily it’s worth it - catchy, suited-for-the-club, stomping tracks are abound in this album. Some of its ballads are worth for listening too!

About the cover, Brit’s face on the 70s/80s inspired cover art is somewhat scary… Haha. Perhaps other photos inside the booklet are more suitable and beautiful as the cover art, though one photo is a bit too much! Lalala!

Of course, autotune is available on every track, but as long as the songs are great, maybe that can be forgiven… Heheh! The lyrics… you know she’s American, and yeah… you’re naïve if you think because the album does not have a PARENTAL ADVISORY sticker, it would be clean… Haha…

One more thing… I accidentally purchased the Deluxe version of Femme Fatale… Huhuh…

Till the world ends

Hold it against me

Inside out

I wanna go

How I roll

(Drop dead) beautiful

Seal it with a kiss

Big fat bass

Trouble for me

Trip to your heart



Up n’ down

He about to lose me


Don’t keep me waiting

I adore Till the world ends, I wanna go, Trip to your heart, Seal it with a kiss, Trouble for me, Up n’ down, He about to lose me, Selfish, and Don’t keep me waiting. Again, she’s proving herself worthy to the title of the Princess of Pop! Love it!

TESL Night 2011: The Night of Glitz, Glam, and Glitter

So, it has been a week after our TESL Night, and I don’t really know what to say. I know many [read: MANY] things can be improvised [that includes me] but as far as the Night went, I think we did pretty well. Yes, pretty much I was so nervous as the MC, and some awful things was said by me [awful grammar… Did I hear myself using ‘him’ to refer to Mdm. Lam Saw Yin? Oh Yeah! Hahah]. Yabadabadabada…

About the performances, I think all of them were great, only that there were too many performances, which kind of dragging the night. Some ‘additional stunts’ also happened. OK, it’s life. What to do. I did forget some steps of mine too.

The food… err… I think some of them were nice, but the portions were small, and undeniably, I really, really think that everyone was hungry back in the dorm… Haha.

Of course, the main attractions of the Night was seeing people dressed beautifully, although… arrrr… some were quite revealing. Thank God Pn. Salmah was not there. Phew…

Anyway, I just want to say, if anything were not right during the entire night, I hope you can forgive us. I really hope you guys enjoyed yourself. Thanks!

The Family of B. Ed. TESL
Da Big Family of TESL 2011 (B. Ed. and PSIMP BI)
Jokerz Crew!
Umbrellas by the Girls

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Lost Phantom


Well immune to

Your death threat

Yes tell WHATEVER you want but


And those utterances are like a LOST PHANTOM

Delicate lifeless life

Mooring and

Your followers mourning

You’re JUST

A mistaken


And little do I am afraid




TO PEOPLE and people just

Don’t care about you


You’re another sore missing

And you’re barely trying

To breath another breathe


Days left like MELTING SNOW

And no one

Cares about you

And your deceitful lies any m o r e

Because in the end, I’m



And you’re just an(other)


Away from a tale in a STORYbook

A STORY like

This won’t


And in The end you’re just a LOST PHANTOM

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Lovers and Strangers

Afiq, pursue your creative dreams

Best lucks

Robert Raymer

9 April 2011

That is what he wrote as an autograph in the copy of his book that I bought during his creative writing workshop.

The book is Lovers and Strangers Revisited. I’ve finished it, and it was great. The collection of 17 stories was great, and it captures the essence of Malaysia very well. The lively details of life and emotions were enriching to me. An expat can write the stories this well, why can’t we?

In other words, if you find it in any bookstores, you should buy it!


When you live in a community, you know you need to be careful with your words. A Malay proverb says that ‘terlajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata membawa padah’ [actually I don’t know if I got it right… haha]. Respecting others is the value that people got to have right now – respects of one’s religion, culture, and ethnicity.

Fickle-minded people though, they are a different story altogether. They are not open-minded, limited in cognitive thinking, and have high defence mechanisms [yes, I’m putting the things I learnt in degree]. For one thing, you can’t write/make stuff that others will feel sick/horrible/painful about. There’s one page that openly critiques and mocks people. How can this happen? I can say that our unity now is so unstable, when we compared it with the situation years ago. The Chinese are unhappy because the government denies what they think is their rights, while the Malays are also feeling the same because the Chinese are taking their opportunity, and politics is worsening it. The Indians meanwhile are not pleased about Interlok, and the Sarawakians and Sabahans? They have a lot of things to be unhappy about. Not forgetting religions/cultures too. Bible issues, mosque issues, temple issues…

Not all people are like that, I can happily say, I mean look at what our many kinds of ethnics bring to us, and we as Malay/Bumiputera can learn a lot from them, and vice versa. We can’t just depend on the government’s affirmative action to move forward. That’s the dilemma. If anything, we should try to understand each other first. Nothing can harm you from discovering about their lives, the way they think, the way they put their trust in God. If people don’t start to respect others, than you might as well be waiting for another 1969 racial riot. History is history, no one can change that [unless they have a time machine], but I really think many things have changed over the course of time. To the people of Sarawak and Sabah, you need a lot of work to do to make yourself heard, and I know how tough it is, but you’re part of this country, and to tell you something, your states’ level were much higher than the peninsula’s states when you first merged with them to make Malaysia [a clarification: Sabah and Sarawak merged with Malaya to form Malaysia, not enter Malaysia. Malaysia will never exist without them].

So, respect. One simple word, but honestly, without understanding, care, and love… that can be a hard thing to do, and no, respect doesn’t come with fear. Besides, the al-Qur’an and Bible state that we should respect and love our neighbours, right? Honestly speaking, I can be sure that Gautama Buddha and any one of the Hindu God or Goddesses [I kind of like Ganesh. He brings luck, and he’s an elephant] preach us to be kind and understanding.

Pens are mightier that swords. Lord Voldemort thinks it’s otherwise, but to deny his stance, let me say this: in modern era like now, people don’t wage war like in the medieval period, and they just don’t go out and brandish their swords to unsuspecting commoners. Yes, he’s wicked and vainly witted, but at times, he’s a dimwit. Nowadays, mass media, and social network reach out to more people, and with that, more people like to just give their opinions blindly, and the consequences: more people are hurt, more people rebel, more people revolt.

Respect people's minds, and hearts. Can we just be good already?

Friday, 15 April 2011

'Glitz'krieg D-Day

B. Ed. TESL Pen. Men.'s...
...Crazy Guyz...
...and [not-so] Crazy Gurlz!

Today is the


I’ve butterflies in my stomach, but I know

I’ll have fun

dancing, watching, eating, and hosting!

The most important thing:



Monday, 11 April 2011

Trengganuspeak, Nok Wak Guane!

Growing Up in Trengganu, the masterpiece of Awang Goneng.

This in one of my favourite books/memoirs of all time, and it’s not just because I’m a Terengganuese. The book is actually a blook – a blog turned into a book. Simply said, GUiT is a myriad of Awang Goneng’s awesome childhood tales and stories that revokes the time-forgotten old-world Trengganu.

His writings are so vivid to the point that you can recreate the events in your mind with ease. I was so absorbed when I read this that my mind swirled with imaginations. Well, maybe it was just me, but I can say that he did roused my senses and transported me to his Trengganu, especially in parts dealing with food. His language [Queen's English!] is pretty outstanding, fluid, and colourful too. I like how he wrote the stories - enticing, and thought-provoking, with wit in every page.

Some of his anecdotes are about the falling of his mom’s crystallised agar-agar during the noon prayer, Pok Cik Yunnan’s bookshop, morning breakfast with loud Indian music, to the hantu kangkang near the gate of Istana Maziah [I hope there’s none now], to the scrumptious taste of old Trengganuese kuih created by a lady near the palace, and the train journey to the then lively and loud tin-producing town of Bukit Besi. I couldn’t help but wondering how the life was back in 40s and 50s Trengganu – just think about its charms: time just stood still, idyllic, quiet, tranquillity abound. Of course, one cannot write a book about Trengganu [or Terengganu for that matter] without putting in some Trengganuspeak. Examples include:

Beranok ddlang botol
Dapat pitis samah!
Nok wak guane gamok

I think you get the idea. It’s a good read, though actually this memoir was published when I was in form 5 if I’m not mistaken.

The reason why I posted about it now is that the follow up to GUiT, A Map of Trengganu is now on sale, and I will make myself to buy it! Heheh!

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Creative Writing Workshop

With my classmate, Vileyrina Vitus
That's Mr. Robert Raymer, with the copy of his book, Lovers and Strangers Revisited
That's me, and Villy. Is my mouth a little bit pouty?!
It may not seem much here, but she's a pan-Asian
Mr. Raymer in action
The man in the front in Mr. Gerard, IPG Gaya's [my IPG] Head of Language Department [or as I like to call it, LangDept.]
The ambience

Being a student of IPGK Gaya does have its benefits. For instance, I got to go for Robert Raymer’s Creative Writing Workshop for free!

It was held yesterday by SPArKS in Wisma Anglican, and it was a blast. For some people, creative writing may not be their favourite thing to do, but not me. I love writing about stuff, and that workshop was really inspiring. Robert Raymer is an American expatriate who has been living in Sarawak for the past 20 years and has wrote a lot of fiction and non-fiction novels, and a magazine. The way he conduct his workshop was fun, with some dash of humour here and there, and many great explanation and examples. I really learnt many things that can help to organise my ideas.

Mr. Gerard Benjamin, Gaya’s Head of Language Department was also there, and I got to meet his friend, and the organiser, Mrs. Jude Day [which I mistakenly called as Jude Law… what the heck?].

So now, if nothing is happening in the future, the next workshop may be held somewhere in August, and I am pretty much looking forward to that.

Friday, 8 April 2011

Paper Cranes and Clovers

And they say to me

“These paper cranes are worthless.”

Hopes, where are they now?

Mechanical hearts

They don’t understand these things

Parachutes of life

Hidden and written

Inked blue lay inside the birds

And I will send them

The highest building

The north is fine and the wind

Blows, paper cranes thrown away

With three-leaved clover

On the brittle wing flaps

Be happy, this heart will

And they say to me

“Only fools do that, you kid.”

I will just laugh out

Those machines scatter

Yes, wishes on thin paper

And green clovers fly

Treat me luck, I say

Within me, the quiet times

Create loud uproars

Love is Wonderful, but a Heart is Delicate

Choices can be titanic or minute, and they can either make you, or break you. Among these choices, there is one big thing that we call as love. The truth, I have practically zero experience when it comes to this matter. In fact, it may even scare a hell out of me… if it happens that is.

20-years-old is still juvenile when it comes to love, or so I think. At this age, love is kind of troublesome. You are supposed to be learning about knowledge, not to have a bond with other people. All the same, let’s deal with it, it happens, and when it happens, you just can’t deny it.

A relationship is not about how well one treats the person, or how good one’s gift is to him or her. It is not even about fun. Being in a relationship involves two persons that have souls, and minds. It means that you need to have time, faith, and devotion to that person. It means that you need to face the consequences of the actions you make. It means that you’ll accept that person’s weaknesses, as that person accepts yours. It means that you are ready if things don’t turn well.

Putting your faith on other person is a terrifying thing, yet it might worth it. You can’t turn away from love. Your heart doesn’t need any more problem than it has now.

Love is wonderful, but a heart is delicate

Topsy Turvy but Lucky

Two weeks of continuous assignments and quizzes really take its toll on me.

I’m experiencing burnout… Hahah. Coffee is what I drink in café these days so that I can stay awake in class.

No one has ever told me that quizzes play an important part in a university’s syllabus, that’s for sure. I can say that two or three weeks of continuous assignments and quizzes [they love us] caused [and still is] some pressure, but hey, quizzes are quizzes, and exam is *this* close, like 20 days close.

No more time to play, we have to get ready for it, though laziness will always bug us. Ed Psych, Philo Ed, and Guidance & Counselling need more attention from all of us here. It’s pretty obvious reading alone is not enough. One needs to complement it with a full comprehension.

Anyway, I still consider myself lucky, because let’s face it: all those head-cracking, mind-confusing, emotion-grinding tasks are what we call as challenges for our future career as GTs [Great Teachers!].

This is a student’s life, and that first war is looming. Meet you in the battlefield soon!

[P.S.: sorry for using words that are hypothetically metaphorical.]

This is what we did for the Earth Hour in our IPG. A [lil' bit crooked...] heart!
Soley Bear, for our dearest Mdm. Sharifah Mazni since it was her birthday.

Saturday, 2 April 2011

April's Moonless

Moonless night

April showers

Creeps a new day

Coldness, hidden

Like phantoms

An open window


Like a waterfall

Tears of sky

Drum beats

Slow, and fast

The earth sounds

Friday, 1 April 2011

Words Like Roads


Like roads that

Crisscross the open heartland country.

Sometimes, the road’s blessed by rain

Of sanctity

That calms the season of scorching sunshine.

Sometimes, the road’s forgotten and fragile

Flooded with emotions

When an eclipse has dawn

Sometimes, the road sides are like nightly phantom

That consume fears, and enrage wildfires

Of destruction, unstoppable

Sometimes, a lullaby by the roadside

In colourful spring time

Melodious, an aural feast

Sometimes, a sudden cool breeze

Comes from cloud nine by seaside

And flying colours of a ship, passes by

Sometimes, a broken tree on the road

A halt, hard to remove

The debris lying all over

Sometimes, a dark long tunnel,

Light in the end

Closer and you’re free


Like roads

They lead

They stop



Hello April. You're big!

It's Friday [suddenly, I am thinking about Rebecca Black's Friday... Haha], the first day of April and finally I have found the perfect time to sit back, relax, and say:

Ahhh... I can breathe properly. No more sleepless night caused by assignments [well, at least for now].

Only two more to go, those brain-shattering ones are now gone. I can't say that I didn't give them the proper treatment though, unless I really want to irate me-self, which I really don't want to. Oh yeah, quizzes too.


Besides the fact that it is a transition monsoon month, a lot of things are installed for me, and my class, and TESLians for that matter.





Just around the corner – my first UiTM exam. Dream pointer? Is 3.5 hard to achieve? Especially with the fact that three subjects are particularly demanding: Philosophy of Education [we fondly call it Philo - that sounds like filo, a Greek pastry], Guidance and Counselling, and Educational Psychology [or as we know it, Psycho... may I add that its assignment was the one that drove us literally 'psycho'... Haha]. The tutors are great, but yeah... the subjects need higher order thinking... if you know what I mean [or maybe it's just me and my crazy ideas].

Ahh... good times.

TITAS... some things happened, but anyway, it's like History in school, and I love History, but to be frank, it seems like IPG's TITAS is way cooler [and by cool, I mean that it has some part on Japanese culture... Heheh].

Linguistics, I don't know about you, but I really love this subject, no sarcasm intended, just plain truth. Maybe the terms can be such a nuisance at times, but I've always love to learn about what makes a language, a language. Sounds crazy? I think I'm crazy sometimes for liking Linguistics.

Finally, we have Literature and boy, I adore the subject, and I think it is one of my strongest points. Everyone should have one or two [or a lot] strong points, ain't it? Poems and stories are a tad tough unless you try to look more into the hidden meanings. We are learning a novel by Chinua Achebe right now. It's called Things Fall Apart, and it tells us about the life of Nigerian Igbo tribe that falls apart when the Whites arrive in their lands.

The ramifications of not doing well are lethal.

In the 17th of April, B. Ed. TESL will organise the assembly, and I’ll be the MC. Nerve-wracking? Yeah. Luckily, a script is there to help someone like me… Huhu

15th of April is the big night of TESLians of Gaya, TESL Night 2011. Preparations are still going on. Now, we just need to fulfil the guest capacity: 250 people. I hope we can.




Well, guess what? I’m the MC, with Jacinta, Syed, and Akmar [just when you thought Assembly is nerve-wracking enough]. I need zest, and at least a good costume (or maybe it is dress?) to fit into.

Well, this month is going to be packed with lots of stuff!