YOLO

YOLO is the in-thing right now. In case you guys don’t know what YOLO is [really guys? Really?!], it stands for YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. If you have a Tumblr [which I do!], you will obviously know about it way earlier than the rest of the planet. [Off topic: TUMBLR RULES!!!]

Anyway, while some people are divided between what YOLO really caters to, I say, YOLO means you realise that we only have one life and if we don’t take the chances to do the things we really want to achieve, we may regret ourselves later.

Life is both long and short. Why long? Because, generally, you do live until like 70-80 years old, but it is also short since we give ourselves too little time to take the risks, to have fun, to make life counts and just do whatever good things we feel like to! Time flies like a swift dragon and every second counts. We can never turn back the clock.

So, cheers to YOLO! Do everything that will make your world happy in every possible way!

ハッピ！

みなさん、これはゆかたです。

This is yukata, a type of Japanese clothing, and yeah, I was so happy wearing that thing because it is one of my dreams!!! Heheh!

Next stop, Æon Yukata Fair [oh well, that's on July!]

You Live In My Heart

You live in my heart, like a parasite, you breathe in it, inhaling my precious oxygen, exhaling poisonous carbon dioxide. With you in me, I die slowly. The fact that I let you in even though it’s hurting me still baffles my mind. I try to distance myself because this is never right, but I am powerless against it.

You anchor your foundation deeply into the core and I can’t dig it out. It spreads rapidly and covers every inch of this heart; every cell now spells your name. The way you’re so beautiful, it damages me to think why I should fall this way, it damages me to not touching you, slowly but definitely. It damages me to see you, your eyes, the way they cast the light.

The way your eyes are beautiful.

You live in my heart, and I still breathe. I still say your name quietly when I sleep. You’re a nightmare that disguises itself as a sweet dream.

Seconds

She caresses the scars on her right wrist slowly. The right wrist is where she cut herself so many times, because for everyone else, she is never right. Every moment, each and every single day, she goes from being sad to being angry to being hated by other people.

Life is worthless, she says. She has lost her hope a long time ago and she cannot stand living anymore. It is too hard, it is too demanding. Walking down the hallway with other people staring at her as if she is a deadly plague, an imminent disease. She wishes that she were a phantom, a ghost, something unseen.

Alone. Alone and misunderstood.

She pulls a gun out of her drawer, stolen from her dad. It is fine metal machinery, made to kill. Shiny and in this moment, it feels heavy. It weighs down on her hand like a hundred kilotons of plutonium. A dreadful moment but she is calm. The mouth of the gun is pointing towards her left side of the cranium. I choose this, she says.

A second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds, a sound is heard, six seconds, seven seconds, a thud is heard, eight seconds, nine seconds, ten seconds, end.

The Time to Rock On

Stop dwelling on the past, focus on the present, prepare for the future.

That’s my motto now. I mean, it’s not good to stay on your past all the time. The past is another territory, and that territory taught us valuable things for the present and the future. That’s all we need from the past, experience. Why focus on the horrendous events or problems? They are now just petty issues.

It’s better to live in the present, think about what you should do, what you should not do. You will not finish anything if you think about your failures. If you keep trying and trying and trying, somehow your way to the victory will be illuminated. The present matters more, because you got to live and move on. Time will never wait and opportunities may go away if you keep waiting or because you are hesitant to cross the border into this very moment.

Now’s the right time to live your life.

To Say or Not To Say

I think one of the ways to be truly in peace is by stopping to put your own perspectives on other people. You should stop saying a person’s bad, that girl’s ugly, he’s a dickhead, she’s a whore, the lecturer is ruining your life… just stop yourself from saying sentences with dreadful contents that are directed towards someone else.

I mean, why do we have to do that? Because we’re angry at them? Maybe, but there’s so many other important things to do than to just ridicule other people. I don’t think we will ever be happy if we say things like that. Even one little thing can have a big effect on someone else, and at the same time, we don’t want other people to do the same to us.

We can be better, rather than focusing on someone’s shortcomings, it’s better if we look at ourselves.

Life

I am happy with my life now.
I don’t know why, but everything seems to be so much better.

Yes! Really!!!

One of the goals in my life, really!

Prasasti

My co-curriculum for this term is Literature Appreciation, and nope, it’s not in English, it’s in Malay, you know, Apresiasi Sastera. Okay, I admit I was a little bit sceptical with my ability to write in Malay, but now, it’s not that hard, I mean, writing poem is quite different than say, writing an SPM 1119 essay question, but really, I think I am doing pretty well, thank you.

So just want to share with you one of the poems that I’ve created. This one is PRASASTI. What do you think?

Aksara-aksara

digubah, maka

   jadilah untai-untai

  kata

Halus

Diukir mereka

suatu prasasti

suatu yang sudah

pasti

Apabila haus,

   kembali

   dipahat

   Ia norma,

   Ia ikutan

Mahu sajakah aku ikut?

Berdiri sama orang lain,

tiada apa yang diperlu

   Berdiri sendiri

   perlukan segalanya

        Kata-kata

terpateri atas batu

  kalau aku     lari

   adakah mereka

       akan ukir

        nisanku

         nanti?

Hurt

Semua orang cakap muka aku ngan Yaya sama.
Sama ke? Tak kan? Kan?

The thing about life is you can’t stop hurting other people, whether unintentionally or deliberately [if you do it deliberately, that's another question]. Sometimes, you just do or say the thing that you want to because you think it’s your responsibility, because you’re really doing the work that you are trusted with. In other words, you don’t really want to make yourself a reason for the pain or trouble for other people.

You know, it’s tough to get others to understand you. Sometimes you just want to let them know that “hey, I didn't do that because I wanted to make you suffer.” It’s hard to do so really. You will just feel upset and then you start thinking that maybe you should not have done it.

Anyway, why do we choose to hurt others? Why can’t we just stay quiet and stop being jerks? There are times even when small things get escalated so quickly because of we can’t control our anger.

I think that is what humans do well: hurting people. Along the way, we also hurt ourselves.

Rinascimento

I am no
Raphael
Leonardo
Caravaggio

I don’t know
what kind of mix
will produce blue
as light as the sky
as dark as the dusk

I am no
Donatello
Brunelleschi
Michelangelo

I don’t know
how to sculpt
perfect lips
or a divine
visage

But what I know is
you are so
heavenly
made
of sacred
ingredients
devoid of defects

You are
my light
you are
my dark

strokes
of colour
in details
so perfect

Universo

A Mason jar lay on the ground, its content, small pieces of paper written with hopes and dreams and fears and sadness, miraculously stayed inside it. It was still early dawn, but the darkness was obscured by a massive dome of sky glow.

The boy was sitting on his bed, watching the scene that was being unfolded beyond his window, in a room of the house next to his. In this early morning, a girl was practicing ballet. She was beautiful – a muse for the boy. He looked at her with a gaze so intense that he felt as if his hazel eyes would come out from their sockets.

In his hands were a notebook and a gel-ink pen. He quickly turned to a blank page and wrote a number of lines. The boy wrote them in a short time, he still wanted to see the girl practicing her dance, and she still was.

She was lithe, and her movement was ethereal, she was flying so high and the room dissolved and became the stage and a sky. The boy could not look away, his breathing was slow, silent, yet heavy – it seemed as if he was afraid that the girl would notice him peeping covertly through the window.

Then the girl stopped dancing, and strode slowly out of her pale pink-coloured room. The boy put down his book and went back to sleep, or at least was trying to do so. He shut his eyes but his mind was still as awake as ever, playing images of the girl like a film projector, rolls after rolls of her.

Oh, her face, oh her eyes, oh her nose, oh her lips.

If she was beautiful, what would he be? In this universe, she was a star, and he was the dark matter. She was a diamond that everyone wanted to have, he existed but he could not be seen.

But the dawn waited for no one, and a new day unfurled, and he was still afraid of giving himself a chance.

Hard to Hate

Why do we have to live while hating someone else? It’s hard to live like that. I know that sometimes, the things that other people did to us can be so terrible that we remember about them perhaps all the time.

But in the end, why do we have to endure all those things every day? There’re many bad things that we can let go. What to do next is to just look at the bright side of life and realise that, despite the adversities and stuff, we actually have too many beautiful moments.

Why hate people? It’s better to forgive, even if you can’t forget. Once you do that, there will be nothing to bother you anymore. It’s you and your life.

Let

Let people do whatever they like, if in any way, the things they are doing will not destroy the earth or at the very least, burn a cell or two in your brain. I mean, why do we have to bother with the antics of other people?

I think, unless what they want to do is really, really wrong, then who are we to say anything to them? If they want to bungee jump, go on. Eat sago worms? Have a try. If they want to share their happiness, it’s their right. If they want to share their sadness, it’s their right too. Let them write, let them play, let them run, let them think, let them do anything.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

The Only Problem

Let’s have a recap on what I've bought this past three months:

 11/23/63 [my first Stephen King novel]

 Divergent [I am attracted to the plot]

 An Abundance of Katherines [My second John Green novel! Nerdfighters!!!]

 The Casual Vacancy [Hey, it’s JK Rowling!]

 The Graveyard Book [My first Neil Gaiman novel, and it was sold cheap!]

The Heroes of Olympus: Mark of Athena [Because I have the first two awesome novels!]

I would like to say that being obsessed to books is one hell of a thing… I haven’t finished any of them but I will still buy a new novel [bought ATHENA today. I just need that book! It's a series!]… and I have a heap of them at home!!!

HELP ME!!!

Solitude

There’s something about solitude that makes me happy.

When people said that being alone is a sorry thing, I really don’t see it that way. Being alone does not mean that you are lonely. Sometimes, it’s good to be on your own just to ponder about the simple and complex events that happen or people who come and go in your life. You think more about the actions you’ve made and the consequences that came after. You reflect on yourselves by your own. No outside influences.

I like to walk around the city by my own sometimes too.

And of course, you can finish your tasks earlier without external disturbances. Haha~