I am happy…
…but people just don’t understand me sometimes. I am reserved, taciturn, quiet, and most of the times, I just like to be alone. I don’t say what I feel to others. I have always kept my feelings inside me. It’s not a burden. To be frank, making friends is the burden. I never make the first move to know someone, and honestly, I can’t even start the simplest of conversation. So, with that in mind, things I did can even be a source of tension for other parties.
Honestly, being outgoing is not me. I don’t have those needs to hang out with friends. I can just go out alone, and yes, it’s dangerous, especially in places I'm not familiar with. Nevertheless, life in IPG thought me that sometimes, I have to loosen up myself, take a walk, and think of ways to engage myself in a situation, but mostly, it failed. Sorry... [but I’m learning].
One more thing, I’m not born to please everybody in a circle. I know you want me to change, but change sounds much better as a theory in a paper. Changing is hard but I’ll do it, little by little. Let’s say it’s my small wish for the upcoming year. You know what I really want? I want to be brave.
Brave to stand up for what I want, to counter attack people who got the nerve to mess with me, ready to speak English with proper intonation, volume, speed, and definitely sky high confidence, ready to try to ride a motorbike [I am scared to ride on my own, that's absurd for a guy who's almost 20 years old, right?], ready to say things out loud!
I know I can be brave, because life is nothing short of magic. I will never stop trying.